RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
