her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
