So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
