why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
