3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize