It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
