Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
