I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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