This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
