I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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