It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
