I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's shark week go big or go home
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
