I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat