He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
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