I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize