Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
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I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
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That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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