Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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