So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
