After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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