You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
