apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
