her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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