She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize