tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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