Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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