I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
