Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
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