I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
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okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Actions speak louder than pants.
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YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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