I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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