My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize