sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
