Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
