apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
