you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
