You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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