i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
