im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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