We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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