I am in a vortex of obligation.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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