we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
