just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
