it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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