Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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