Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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