so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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