lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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