What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
