Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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