Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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