He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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