Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
