Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
