I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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