sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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