I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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