Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
