too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
