I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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