well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
